Sunday, December 21, 2014

Let's Be Real

This blog served a very special purpose during the yeas that I was a stay-at-home-Mom with my little friends, Gabe and Zoe, who are now a whopping 7 and almost 10 years old!   I'm now workingalmost full time hours as an elementary music teacher and just don't have time to write.  Or even time to collect my thoughts at times to know how I feel about my Type 1.  Mostly I think I've been taking care of myself at a survival level.  Doing enough to feel good enough to function and fulfill responsibilities.  But not putting a focus to really get things right to optimize how I feel.  Mostly, it's my fault I think.  

This weekend I had a major high blood sugar.  Like, close to coma high where my mouth was dry and my thoughts were incohesive and I was drifting in and out of conciousness all night having very weird dreams about terrorists bombing my school and turning into a bird to fly around and try to save my students one by one.  (I swear I don't do drugs.)    When I woke up at 8am... My pajamas were on the floor and my pump site had been ripped off.  That's a first.  Anyone else out there ever do this?  Or am I a one woman freak show over here?    I tested.   HIGH.   Tested again an hour later.  HIGH.   Again.  397.
Again      256.  
Again       72.    

Let the Yo-Yoing begin.  Water.   Rest.   Crying.  Reading.  Playing with my kids.  More Rest.  More Crying.  

Sometimes it's just so frustrating.  I don't want to be a whiner, yet I just want someone to understand what it's like.   I know God has a plan, yet I'm sick and tired of the chronic issues.   I wanna put on my big girl pants and suck it up, but I wanna crawl up in a ball and cry in a corner.  

When I was young (er) it was very easy to bounce back from a high and carry on.   Now it seems to wipe me out for a day and destroy my psyche.   Clinging to my "tool box" of Scriptures, prayer, wise blogs and books, soft worship music and anti-anxiety medication... I try to relax and rebound in a way that is healthy and doesn't disrupt my family life too much.  

I've got to find a way to put the management of this disease at the forefront of my priorities.   I suppose this is what the Lord would like me to use this break from work for.  Getting myself right physically and leaning into Him to help guide me.

I'm listening Lord.  I need some help.  I feel like I'm drowning.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Christmas Time Is Here!

Yes, I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but to this elementary music teacher who starts practicing Christmas music in the beginning of October... TIS THE SEASON, PEOPLE!!

   Every year for about the last four years, I have become progressively more nauseous about the commercialization and materialism in our culture concerning Christmas.   Now, before you roll your eyes and think, "Alright, you conservative right winged freak!"  Just hear me out for a minute....

  I am almost certain that you've observed this scenario.  Yourself or your child receive a gift that gets attention for all of 36 hours and then it gets buried in the bottom of a toy box.

Or re-gifted.

 Or put on a shelf in a closet.

Gifts are awesome.  I love getting them.  I love giving them!  But some of the most meaningful gifts I've ever received were not the Blu-Ray copy of "Dumb and Dumber" or even the cute ankle boots!  (And I LOVE boots!)

   This Christmas Justin and I have decided to try and buy 75% fair trade or charity gifts to give to others!!  I am sharing some ideas with you of some AWESOME gifts that also help show and share the LOVE of Christ this Christmas!!!

Here are my top 5 ideas to get you going!!!

5.  Amazima Jewlery-    Do you know Katie Davis?  She is a 22 year old regular American girl who moved to Uganda a few years ago and has adopted over a dozen children!  She has REVOLUTIONIZED a community, bringing women out of prostitution, feeding and educating children and adults, and sharing God's word with all of them.   Her book, Kisses From Katie, changed my life and opened my eyes to a world way beyond our American bubble.   Grab a BEAUTIFUL $20 necklace made by women in her community!

4.  Rapha House-  Rapha House is an organization that rescues girls out of the devastating sex trafficking industry in Cambodia.   They have safe houses where the girls get healing, Biblical counseling, an education, and vocational trade skills for a new chance at life.   They have BEAUTIFUL handbags, accessories, scarfs, and more all over their site and most items are under $25!

3.  If Then Movement-  Oh how I LOVE this ministry and their incredible products!!  They have the most BEAUTIFUL accessories called "Remnants" made out of fabric remnants that are made into beautiful bracelets, hair clips, pins etc.  They all have a "Prayer Pock-It" where you can write down a prayer for your recipient and slip it inside.  All products are designed to encourage and put your faith into action!   Check them out!!

2.  Samaritan's Purse-  Samaritan's Purse and Compassion International (both respected, trustworthy charities) have sweet online gift catalogs where you can donate in honor of someone and buy things for impoverished people.  You can buy blankets, clean water, shoes, basketballs, goats, chickens!    Last year we bought 4 dozen baby chicks in honor of 4 friends and family members.  In our Christmas card we also gave them a tiny plastic chicken and explained how we had spent our money to help others in their honor.

1.  Hand Made Pinterest Ideas-  So much good stuff out there if you have some time to spend searching intentionally.

(WARNING: Do not get distracted by the gluten free parfait recipes and random photos of romantic tree houses in Tahiti. Not that I do that or anything. Stay focused!)

 This year I have some fun things like "30 Days of Praying For Your Husband" which I have uploaded to photo websites and printed out on photos.  Ball jars filled with little pieces of paper with interesting family conversation starters to pull out for the dinner table.  Write a Bible verse on something pretty for a one of a kind home decor gift.   The possibilities are endless.... :)

BONUS:   Groupon deals- Who doesn't love a good Groupon for a fun experience at a great price?  Go paddle boarding, rollerskating, swim with manatees, visit the Chimp Farm, or paint some pottery!  I've gotten ALL these things to do with my kids for free or cheap on Group social websites!

Merry Christmas everyone and may this season be filled with lots of creative ways to share Christ's love!!!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I Love You, Pump.

Well, I tried the pump vacation for about 48 hours and it was mostly a roller coaster of ups and downs with a definitive lack of steady lines.   Plus, I have a handful of purple bruises that make me look like a battered wife.    I still plan on bringing both options onto the cruise, and will play it by ear... but I'm thinking I might stick with my pump.  

I missed her.

I missed always having a clock attached to my body. (I know there is this invention called a wrist watch, but have never needed to wear one because of my pump!)

  I missed micro-boluses.   (Do I want to eat one Vanilla wafer and not have to give myself a shot for it? Yes.)

My pump is my friend.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Pump Vacation

      I haven't written here in almost a year, but I thought I'd pop in and say hello to the blogosphere!  I have been in and out of town since the first week of June on several youth ministry trips and playing in a youth worship band.  It's been an incredibly FUN and EXHAUSTING Summer.   As this Summer comes to a close, Hunkalicious and I have decided to go on a kidless weekend CRUISE to the Caribbean to celebrate our 9th anniversary!  (Can I get a Whoop Whoop?)

    So what major milestone prompted me to blog after almost a year of silence? Well, I have taken off my insulin pump for the first time since 1999 when I got my first pump!! It is SO WEIRD!  I have literally thought to myself, "Where is my pump!?!?" like 100 times in the last few hours!  It's like losing a major appendage.  My pump has literally been attached to my body without more than a couple hours break for 13 years.  I have checked my blood sugar about 10 times because I'm convinced I'm gonna get crazy high, but so far so good!

 I have followed closely my endo's instructions for using a Lantus pen and Humalog shots.

  I planned on going on this pump vacation for the cruise, but thought it would be smart to give it a test run before I'm 1,000 miles from home on a big boat.  :)   I will also bring my pump for back up if anything goes haywire.

Monday, September 19, 2011

30 Things- Invisible Illness Week

I'm trying to get back into the the school year routine and place a little more effort into my diabetes management. My A1c went up almost a full point over the 4 months of Summer and it's time to get it back down into the 6-er range. :) Here's 30 Things about my disease that you may not know.

1. The illness I live with is: Type 1 Diabetes

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1988

3. But I had symptoms since: 1987- Ask my Mom about the sleepwalking. Good times.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Having discernment on which refined carbs are REALLY worth the effort. :)

5. Most people assume: That I did something wrong to get diabetes, like ate the wrong foods or didn't exercise enough.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: Making sure I take care of myself AND still get my kids out the door on time for school.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: Grey's Anatomy. Hands down.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My pump.

9. The hardest part about nights are: The fear of not waking up from a low blood sugar.

10. Each day I take 1 pills & 0 vitamins: I should take vitamins. I just always forget.

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: Know that there are none for T1D. Only insulin.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I love that I can hide diabetes until I’m ready to talk about it. Although I don’t think any illnesses are entirely invisible.

13. Regarding working and career: I am very blessed and fortunate to be my own boss. I am a private piano teacher with many wonderful students. I also substitute teach at a local school in the music department occasionally.

14. People would be surprised to know: I think about diabetes more than 10 times a day. And I've never taken a day off from thinking about it or taking my meds for 25 years.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: N/A I was diagnosed just before my 7th birthday and I have few memories without diabetes.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Go on multiple mission trips to third world countries like the Dominican Republic and Mexico.

17. The commercials about my illness: Wilford makes me giggle. Diabeetus. The Type 2 commercials generally drive me crazy because the distinction between Type 1 and Type 2 is rarely made.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Pancakes With Syrup.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: I honestly don't feel like I've sacrificed any dreams.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Carb counting. I'm so good at it.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Go hiking and bring all kinds of trail mix with extra m and m's, I'd go swimming under some waterfalls with no cares of being attached to a pump, and I'd eat smores before bed around a fire.

22. My illness has taught me: How many carbs are in everything. What food are really "healthy." I can spot a marketing scam a mile away. "Multigrain" "Low fat" "No preservatives" doesn't mean it's good for ya. :)

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: “Should you be eating that?" ARG!!!! Don't ever ask me that!

24. But I love it when people: Ask questions and then genuinely listen to the answers. And remember what I tell them. Or ask more questions.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full." - Jesus He motivates me every day.

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: It gets easier. Some days are hard, but perspective is important.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: Diabetes forces me to be very "in tune" with my body. If I'm feeling off in any way, I catch it quickly. :)

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: There's no way to nail down one experience. My parents sacrificed a lot of time, money, and energy to take good care of me. My husband also does many awesome things to keep me healthy and safe. Even my kids get me juice sometimes. :) I'm blessed.

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I thought it'd be fun to share!

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: That you are a VERY good friend and you care. Thank you!!

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    Friday, May 13, 2011

    D-Blog Week: Awesome Things

    Today's D-Blog Week topic was to write about AWESOME things that you've done BECAUSE of diabetes.

    A very special gift that diabetes has given me over the years, is a determined spirit that is quite unstoppable. I am the type of person who is motivated by being told that I CAN'T do something. I'm a problem solver. I will get what I want, no matter how hard I have to work to find a way to get it.

    Diabetes once said,

    "You shouldn't have children."

    Oh yeah? How about two? Cute ones at that.

    "You can't go on foreign mission trips where there might be no refrigeration."

    *Yawn* Been there, done that, Diabetes.

    "You can't fast for 30 hours to raise money for hungry kids."

    Hmm, funny... I just did that last weekend with about 17 amazing students in my youth group.

    I credit Diabetes for being my motivator in many aspects of my life.

    BECAUSE of diabetes I have also had the opportunity to make many friends in the diabetes online community. I am so grateful to share experiences with them. The DOC rocks and I'm honored to know some of the people in it!

    Many of my friends at church and I also share a special bond too, through the likeness of our pancrei. (ya like that?)

    So yes, diabetes sucks. Dur. (word of the day for me) It's all about perspective and I choose to not let it rob me of my joy, but to find contentment in the midst of a challenge. I hope you will choose joy too!


    I'm having some issues with my Mac Book Pro and sense a trip to the Mac store is coming for tomorrow. I tried to post my 10 Things list last night and Blogger wasn't working, so unfortunately I minimized the document (instead of saving it....dur.) and today my computer turned off without saving it.

    My screen keeps randomly going to the log in screen and closing programs, so I won't be posting again till my computer is all better! Sorry! Very sad to miss this!