I was invited to be a part of an elementary school camp in a few weeks and I excitedly accepted, thinking as I always do, that I could handle all the travel and diabetes stuff that comes along with every decision I make. This camp would be smack dab in the middle of 3 straight weeks of travel.
Now it's getting closer and I'm realizing that I'll be in charge of several little girls lives and sleeping in a room with no one next to me who is familiar with what to do if I wake up crazy low like I have been more often than not over the last few weeks. Lately, I haven't been waking up at all. The other night I woke up at 31 and the only reason I awoke is because my husband got up to go to the bathroom and I somehow heard him. He heard my mumbling and ran for juice. He saves me. Every time. It really freaks me out how much I depend on him at night to help me.
I don't remember this being a problem when I was younger. I just somehow balanced it and everything worked out. I did a ton of camp counseling and traveling for my college and never had any scary issues. I lived with female roommates in college and rarely remember asking them for assistance with treating diabetes issues. But I've noticed over the last three years, it's getting harder. When I get out of my routine and how much exercise I get and food options are somewhat out of my control... I have a hard time getting it right. And when I don't get it right, the consequences hit my body much harder.
It's really frustrating. And it's making me cry right now.
Sometimes diabetes makes me let people down. My friends. My kids. My husband. My passion for ministry to young people. Myself.
On the upside, I am currently going through a new insurance process to try and get my CGM approved and upgraded (Dexcom 7 to Dexcom 7 Plus). I think I will have success, but who knows how long it will ultimately take to process. I also got a ton of covered test strips and finally got my insurance to cover almost all of them so I am testing like crazy now and not having to worry about out of pocket costs.
How do you cope with the frustration of diabetes getting in the way of things you love to do? Does it? Am I the only one? :) I have a feeling I'm not!