I've never officially done a word theme before. I mean it's not like I've been busy these past few years having babies, raising babies, or moving three times. *insert sarcasm here* I decided to try it out this year and have been praying for about a month that a word would come to mind for me to use as a focal point for some emotional and spiritual goals this year.
Yesterday I spent some time praying for friends, family, my community, and myself at a Prayer Journey at our church. It was a pretty powerful experience to be able to go from station to station and really spend some quiet, alone time focusing on God. Then I got to the healing table...
I always have a hard time with the healing table, because my pancreas broke when I was 7 years old. And it's still broken.
I began to pray and read some of the Scriptures that were provided at the station.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 hit me in a way it never has before.
"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me,“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me..."
Here's the awesome part!!!
"10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
I began to cry.
I've lived with a disease where I am reminded that I have a "thorn in my flesh" almost every hour of my life. Finger pricks, set changes, carb counting, low blood sugars, high blood sugars, ketones, insurance coverage; there's always something on my mind.
But the God of the whole universe gave me His grace. His grace is manifested in me. And when I am weak in myself, I HAVE to go to Christ and receive His strength. He sustains me in all my troubles, my hurts, and my frustrations.
I have learned so much over these past few years.
2007= A year of extreme pain and learning
2008 = A year of forgiveness and letting go
2009 = A year of growing and new experiences
2010= A year of new beginnings
This year I feel I am finally ready to BLOOM. I feel rooted and thankful and excited.
I feel refreshed.
This year my children will both become school age. I will turn 30. And I will have been blessed with a "thorn in my flesh" for the 23rd year. A thorn that reminds me every day that my strength does not EVER come from myself, but ALWAYS from Him.
Happy New Year Everyone!